There's FUNNERY in good Farm Punnery

[PennyLewis]

I know it's cheesy, but I miss the good (bad):D puns.

[Clint454]

Did you hear about the farmer that won the Nobel Prize?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He was outstanding in his field.:D

[PennyLewis]

It's been a tough year, but I survived with just a few feathers ruffled.

18930

[amberdh]

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

[Tony D]

*quoted without the permission of Homer Simpson* I never apologise, I'm sorry but that's just the way I am.

[amberdh]

*quoted without the permission of Homer Simpson* I never apologise, I'm sorry but that's just the way I am.

Ya know that actually reminded me of the time I couldn't really remember how to throw a boomerang, thank goodness it came back to me. :p

[Double T Dude Ranch]

This is getting udderly ridiculous.
Quite fowl really.

[Happy pants]

Some people just have to go hog wild.

[Tiger Laybourne]

what's the purpose of Reindeer ?

It makes the grass grow sweetie.

[pg tips]

Two snow men stood in a field. One turns to the other and saays "do you smell carrots"

[PennyLewis]

oooo I got such a nice compliment from a worker I hired at the marketplace. It was strange cause it was nice and rude at the same time.

She said "PennyLou are you still here?" And I said "No. (cause obviously I was). And she said "Well I see you. You are OUTSTANDING IN YOUR FIELD." And I said "Wow! Thanks for the compliment." She didn't stick around to plow. I can't figure out why....

[Double T Dude Ranch]

You are all a bity corny....but I ear ya!

[PennyLewis]

My preserve factory ain't working proper. It keeps jamming up!!!

[Double T Dude Ranch]

Now don't get saucy on me....(mmmm apple sauce).

[PennyLewis]

Now don't get saucy on me....(mmmm apple sauce).

If ya have to explain a pun......

[Double T Dude Ranch]

If ya have to explain a pun......

Nope....just naming my fave sauce :)

[PennyLewis]

Nope....just naming my fave sauce :)

Layered puns should not be condoned by moderators as they can cause serious, unrepairable damage to a good joke.

[Double T Dude Ranch]

Watch out for the cat that was by the limonade stand...it's a sourpuss!

[crafty chris]

is this another topic that going to be milked dry?

[Tony D]

is this another topic that going to be milked dry?I always wondered where powdered milk came from.....

[Happy pants]

Now don't stirrup trouble. Not all these people are stable.

[Double T Dude Ranch]

Knotty bunch peephole you are!

[Clint454]

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

[Tony D]

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.I have heard it is very uplifting ......

[Clint454]

I have heard it is very uplifting ......

After the first chapter I was on cloud nine.

[Happy pants]

Yeah, it's okay for a little light reading...

[Tony D]

Yeah, it's okay for a little light reading...Hardly what I would call down to earth, though

[Happy pants]

What do you call a chicken crossing the road? Poultry in motion.

[Kay Pasa]

Two silkworms were in a race......they ended up in a tie.

[Happy pants]

So how is everybody this morning? I'm feeling just peachy... it's going to be a grape day. Well, gotta go, ketchup with you later.

[Hexagon]

My coach adviced me to finish race though I may not win. My participation ribbon looked very dull before my friends trophy. He followed principal's advice. :p

[PennyLewis]

My coach adviced me to finish race though I may not win. My participation ribbon looked very dull before my friends trophy. He followed principal's advice. :p

I shall be pondering this pun all day. But I confess it has me running around in circles.

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia or oz. :eek: :D

[Tony D]

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia or oz. :eek: :D:eek: Does this mean I'm going first

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

:eek: Does this mean I'm going first

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did. :D

[Tony D]

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did. :D<groan> :D I will pay that

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

<groan> :D I will pay that

I am a gluten for punishment..... :p

[Tony D]

I am a gluten for punishment..... :pclearly set in your ways :eek:

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

clearly set in your ways :eek:

Laughing, hysterically... :D

[Danni Ellz]

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia or oz. :eek: :D

Or Kiwiland. We're first in the world :D



I think you broke your computer... oh no it's just an ID: TEN-T error.



And since none of those are puns, I shall leave to go water the plants.

[Clint454]

http://www.edwardconti.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/pun.jpg

[Clint454]

http://www.yourfunnystuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/jimmy-shoe-repair.jpg

[PennyLewis]

Christmas is gonna be awfully busy so I submitted a contract to hire an elf to keep my flowers watered, but he added a Claus.

[Danni Ellz]

My cat wants to be santa, but he keeps retracting his claws.

[Double T Dude Ranch]

http://www.butlerwebs.com/jokes/images/mindbluff-punhorse.jpg

[Happy pants]

Honestly, Penny... I think your brain is scrambled... I'd egg you on, but I'm chicken.

[Tiger Laybourne]

Penny has a tough life. She barley survives from wheat to wheat.

[Tony D]

Honestly, Penny... I think your brain is scrambled... I'd egg you on, but I'm chicken.Please don't get Henny Penny started on the eggs again :eek:

[Happy pants]

Yes sir, Mr Tiger sir.... you have me completely cowed.

[Tony D]

Yes sir, Mr Tiger sir.... you have me completely cowed.I am off to find a picture of a cow, wearing Happy Pants :D

[PennyLewis]

Please don't get Henny Penny started on the eggs again :eek:

Gosh I can't remember any of those. Could you maybe give me an eggzample?

[Happy pants]

Well, I have a beef. These are the worst puns I ever herd. Really, it's a lot of bull.

[PennyLewis]

Well, I have a beef. These are the worst puns I ever herd. Really, it's a lot of bull.

Not liking our wonderbull puns is udderly ridiculous.

[Double T Dude Ranch]

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/mgd/lowres/mgdn158l.jpg

[Clint454]

http://www.eons.com/images/members/2009/10/7/7/7/77853945215083468610_610w.jpeg

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

http://www.eons.com/images/members/2009/10/7/7/7/77853945215083468610_610w.jpeg

Okay, quit egging me on.....:D Otherwise, your going to get pooved!!!! :D

[Clint454]

http://davesdailydose.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/a-salt-deadly-weapon.jpg

[Double T Dude Ranch]

http://mindbluff.com/punhumpt.jpg

[Clint454]

http://everydayoff.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/pipie.jpg

[Tony D]

http://everydayoff.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/pipie.jpgha ha ha , cool pic :D

[Clint454]

http://cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/hole_milk.jpg
to go with the pie

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

Families are like fudge. Mostly sweet with a few nuts. :D

[Happy pants]

My family tree is full of nuts.

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

My family tree is full of nuts.

The would be a crazy rooted nutty family....:D

We might want to add the holy milk to go with the pie :)

[Clint454]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6Z1oVjpuHxU/TQaUm20GfCI/AAAAAAAAA6M/1W6Biyn6l8Y/s400/tent.jpg

[Hjalmar3]

I can't date women without legs..
i'm lack-toes intolerant :eek:

[Tony D]

I can't date women without legs..
i'm lack-toes intolerant :eek:feet would work better ;)

[Happy pants]

Is that the agony of de feet?

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

Is that the agony of de feet?

or de toes...... :confused:

[Happy pants]

Toe-tally.....

[Tony D]

Toe-tally.....you nailed that one :p

[Happy pants]

I think this joke is on its last legs.

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

My son just showed me this and i thought is was cute:


A skunk fell in the river and stank to the bottom.

[Tony D]

My son just showed me this and i thought is was cute:


A skunk fell in the river and stank to the bottom.what do you get if you cross a Skunk with an Owl?

A bird that stinks, but doesn't give a hoot .....

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

what do you get if you cross a Skunk with an Owl?

A bird that stinks, but doesn't give a hoot .....

So it would be stink, stank and stunk with a hoot...:D

[Clint454]

A skunk, a duck, a doe, and a giraffe are sitting in a bar drinking cocktails. The waiter walks up and says "who get's the tab"? The skunk says " I only have one scent", the duck quickly replies " I only have one bill and I don't want to break it", The doe sheepishly says " I haven't had a buck on me since last fall". The Giraffe stands up and says "high balls on me".

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

A skunk, a duck, a doe, and a giraffe are sitting in a bar drinking cocktails. The waiter walks up and says "who get's the tab"? The skunk says " I only have one scent", the duck quickly replies " I only have one bill and I don't want to break it", The doe sheepishly says " I haven't had a buck on me since last fall". The Giraffe stands up and says "high balls on me".

Laughing....

Here is one...

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

Okay, everyone can (groan) It is getting late...:p

[Clint454]

Bank opens and this really nattily dressed frog strides in , takes the first available teller, Ms. Patricia Whack, and, leaning on the counter, tells her he wants to take out a loan.
"Indeed," she says, raising an eyebrow. "For how much?"
"$30,000", the frog replies.
"And what do you intend to do with this $30,000, Mr, Mr,?"
"Jaegger, Kermit Jaegger", says the frog, " I thought I'd maybe buy a yacht and cruise the Carribean for a while."
"Indeed," says Ms. Whack, and raises the other eyebrow. "You have some collateral, I presume?"
The frog reaches into his pocket and pulls out this exquisite little pink porcelain elephant, and sets it on the counter.
"This??" she says, "This is your collateral??" and off she stomps to the bank manager, and plops the elephant down on his blotter. "There's a frog over there at my window wants a $30,000 loan, and he's offering us this to secure his loan."
The bank manager smiles and steeples his hands and nods. "That's right," he says.
"What is it anyway??!?", she demands.
READY? "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

Bank opens and this really nattily dressed frog strides in , takes the first available teller, Ms. Patricia Whack, and, leaning on the counter, tells her he wants to take out a loan.
"Indeed," she says, raising an eyebrow. "For how much?"
"$30,000", the frog replies.
"And what do you intend to do with this $30,000, Mr, Mr,?"
"Jaegger, Kermit Jaegger", says the frog, " I thought I'd maybe buy a yacht and cruise the Carribean for a while."
"Indeed," says Ms. Whack, and raises the other eyebrow. "You have some collateral, I presume?"
The frog reaches into his pocket and pulls out this exquisite little pink porcelain elephant, and sets it on the counter.
"This??" she says, "This is your collateral??" and off she stomps to the bank manager, and plops the elephant down on his blotter. "There's a frog over there at my window wants a $30,000 loan, and he's offering us this to secure his loan."
The bank manager smiles and steeples his hands and nods. "That's right," he says.
"What is it anyway??!?", she demands.
READY? "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Hey I like the Rolling Stones... :)

[Happy pants]

This guy goes to a golf course he's never been to before, and every time someone gets ready to drive, they yell, "Five!"
He turns to one of his foursome, and says, "I don't understand. Aren't you supposed to yell, "Fore!"
The other golfer says, "Oh yeah. But.....

"This is a course of a different holler."

[Happy pants]

so this astronaut lands on an unexplored planet, and sees the native population all around him... they're little fur-covered things about three feet tall, and they all look alike to him... they crowd around him curiously, asking him questions, and he says, "What are you called?" They answer, "Furries!" Then, in the best tradition of space exploration, he exclaims, "Take me to your leader!"
They pull and push him, and head for a cave, where one of their number is sitting in a big carved throne. He looks exactly like all the others... except for a hypodermic needle sticking out of the top of his head. The astronaut says, "What makes this guy your leader? He looks just like all the rest of you." They answer,

"He's the Furry with the syringe on top."

[Tony D]

so this astronaut lands on an unexplored planet, and sees the native population all around him... they're little fur-covered things about three feet tall, and they all look alike to him... they crowd around him curiously, asking him questions, and he says, "What are you called?" They answer, "Furries!" Then, in the best tradition of space exploration, he exclaims, "Take me to your leader!"
They pull and push him, and head for a cave, where one of their number is sitting in a big carved throne. He looks exactly like all the others... except for a hypodermic needle sticking out of the top of his head. The astronaut says, "What makes this guy your leader? He looks just like all the rest of you." They answer,

"He's the Furry with the syringe on top."why am I laughing :confused::D

[Clint454]

http://www.zen36049.zen.co.uk/CLANGNUTS%20CARTOONS%202007/clang%20web%20design.png

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

The roundest Knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

[Happy pants]

LOL... that's pretty good, Suzie.

Pretty punny stuff. Keep 'em coming, punny people.

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

LOL... that's pretty good, Suzie.

Pretty punny stuff. Keep 'em coming, punny people.

Why.. thank you Ms. Happy Pants... :D

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

[PennyLewis]

So this rope goes into a bar and slithers up onto a bar stool. He says "Bartender give me a beer!"
The bartender says "Nope. I don't serve ropes. Get out of here!"
The rope says "Look I tied up cattle all day, pulled a wagon, supported a tire swing with three bratty kids, and tonight I just hung a man. I think I deserve a beer."
The bartender pulled out his 12 gauge and yelled "I said I don't serve beer to no ropes."
So the rope quickly slid down and out the door. He went out side and twisted and turned and tied his self all up. Then he rolled around in the dirty til his threads became tattered and torn. He returned to the bar, slithered up the barstool and said "Bartender give me a beer."
The bartender said "Okay," and began pouring. Suddenly he stopped, looking very suspicious and said "Waiiiiiiit just a gosh darn minute! Ain't you that rope that was in here earlier?"

And the rope said: "No I'm a frayed knot.":D

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

Good one Penny!!!! :D

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. :)

[PennyLewis]

Got another one, kinda similar:

So this dog goes into a bar and climbs up onto a bar stool. He says "Bartender give me a beer!"
The bartender says "Nope. I don't serve dogs. Get out of here!"
The dog says "Look I chased 100 head a cattle all day, cause there weren't no rope around to lasso em with. I think I deserve a beer."
The bartender pulled out his 12 gauge and yelled "I said I don't serve beer to no dogs." And the bartender pulled the trigger shooting the dog in the leg. The poor dog ran, limping and whimpering out the door.


Six months later, there is a crowd in the bar, whooping and hollering, singing and dancing, poker playing and having a general good time. When suddenly the door burst open.

In limped the dog.

He had on a black hat, and had sixshooters hanging from each hip. He was foaming at the mouth and had a ferocious pit bull look in his eyes. Everyone dove under the tables. The bartender hid behind the bar. Everyone was trembling in fear.

The dog said "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw!"

[Clint454]

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

[Tony D]

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.and it's a growth culture.....

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

[Tony D]

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.This one has My stamp of approval :D

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

This one has My stamp of approval :D

Thank you, Tiger :D

A backward poet writes inverse.

[Happy pants]

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

[Happy pants]

If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

[Clint454]

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lbykmsxSaV1qakgigo1_500.jpg

[Hexagon]

Basket ball is a poor mans game. All you need is a torn basket & a ball. One night I stitched the torn part. They'll be grateful to me.

[Hexagon]

Someone stole my TV last night but I saved my remote. Now he couldn't use it.

[Hexagon]

He has lost his wrist watch.
http://www.fishingfury.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/catfish-head.jpg

[Happy pants]

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time

[Tony D]

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time:D he he he he

[Hexagon]

http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/991/sasax.png

[Double T Dude Ranch]

Never underestimate puns - there's more to them than meats the eye, you know.

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.

[PennyLewis]

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

[Tony D]

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.":D I will pay that .....

[Double T Dude Ranch]

The girl kangaroo kept arguing with her boyfriend as he kept jumping to conclusions about who was calling her on the phone :)

[Happy pants]

Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.

[Clint454]

Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.

that cracked me up. :D

[Tony D]

that cracked me up. :Daww Nuts! I was going to say that....

[PennyLewis]

Could we have a moment of silence, please? My pet frog just croaked.:(

[Double T Dude Ranch]

Holy Crop!

[PennyLewis]

I went out on a limb today and bought the new tree shaker, then I forked out some more cash for that other new thingy

[Tony D]

I went out on a limb today and bought the new tree shaker, then I forked out some more cash for that other new thingy*Lifts the Shaking Penny out of the kidney beans crop and feeds her some soup*

ETA : perhaps I should branch out into First Aid

[Happy pants]

Hmmm.... not sure I'd want my wounds to be tended by a tiger...

[PennyLewis]

*Lifts the Shaking Penny out of the kidney beans crop and feeds her some soup*

ETA : perhaps I should branch out into First Aid

Your hot soup should have warmed me up, but for some reason I feel chile

[Tony D]

Your hot soup should have warmed me up, but for some reason I feel chile*shakes head* sometimes you are a cereal pest...

[Double T Dude Ranch]

Pssst 'whey'......

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.......

[Canetti]

A baby seal walks into a club...

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man who shot my paw."

[supertrucker]

my buddy Sid was the victim of identity theft... he's going by 'S' for now...

[Suzie Brown-Dehner]

If you dream in vivid colors, is that a pigment of your imagination?

[Tony D]

http://content.railbirds.com/user_content/images/35657/10614/191971_o.gif

[HelenJS22]

http://content.railbirds.com/user_content/images/35657/10614/191971_o.gif

You having fun ?? Still wearing the Santa hat ?!?!?!

[Happy pants]

Yeah, his little green ears are cold. :D

[Tony D]

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l1jrvptoFI1qbfn8so1_500.jpg

[Tony D]

My attempt at starting a street market turned out to be fruitile.

[Pam Gossett]

Well I see my twin sister, Penny, has infected you all with her punny humor. Lettuce not forget that farming is serious business.

[Tony D]

Cos we don't want to run over and iceberg, I prefer to leaves them for the wabbits

[Vasili]

Which mod deleted my punny farm post - don't make me go post-al on your punny farm *** :D

[Tony D]

I just got my permit to harvest shrimp in the Antarctic. Now I have a licence to Krill.

[Tony D]

Pencil sharpeners have a tough life - they live off tips.

[StoneFace]

I feel like a triangle talking to this circle thread... it is so pointless.


.

[Tony D]

The dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

[Tony D]

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

[Tony D]

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

[Tony D]

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

[Tony D]

http://nighthumor.com/wp-content/uploads/Amusing-Animal-Puns-Selection-Pics-4.jpg

[Tony D]

http://sphotos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/59589_10151255139704162_2035149302_n.jpg

[Tony D]

The book of incantations was useless. The author had failed to run a spell check.

[Tony D]

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie

[Tony D]

The coffee tasted like mud because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.

[Gregh]

The coffee tasted like mud because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.

The haiku poet wrote inverse. He was a little backward.

[Angels Shangri-La]

Two snails bought an Es car, you should have seen that Es car go.