New Release -- July 28th, 2011

[StoneFace]

This guy walks into a bar down in the back hills and orders a mudslide.

The bartender looks him over and says, "You're not from around here are ya?"

"No," he responds. "I'm from Pennsylvania."

The bartender asks, "Well, what do you do in Pennsylvania?"

"I'm a taxidermist," replies the man.

Looking very bewildered, the bartender asks, "What in the world does a tax-e-derm-ist do?"

"I mount dead animals," replies the man.

The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar (which is staring at them now), "It's okay, boys! He's one of us!"


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[Reta J]

Originally Posted by Deborah1979

I really like the little yellow hand that lets me move things on my farm!

NEXT????

I love the "Add to Animal Building" Button

[StoneFace]

A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away."

"What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell? You haven't done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!"

With that, the vet turned and left the room. In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever went right to work, checking the poor dead dog out thoroughly with his nose. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook his head and said, "Bark" (meaning "dead as a doornail").

The veterinarian then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments with a cat, who also carefully sniffed out the poor dog on the table. As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head and said, "Meow" (meaning "he's history"). He then jumped off the table and ran out of the room.

The veterinarian handed the man a bill for $600. The dog's owner went berserk. "$600! Just to tell me my dog is dead? This is outrageous!"
The vet shook his head sadly and explained. "If you had just taken my word for it, the charge would have been $50. But with the Lab work and cat scan...."

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[spoiler1041]

Originally Posted by StoneFace

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?"

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.

Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."

"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy"

That took me a second.....................

How many farm town addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just 2 but it needs to be a large light bulb.

HINT: Farm town addict is not part of the joke...

[spoiler1041]

What do call a dog with no legs?

Does it really matter, he isn't going to come...

[krypto]

Originally Posted by Taz D

Maybe it is time to converge on Miami and hold a demonstration in front of Slashkey's headquarters...

That got me to thinking - what if there was a FarmTown convention? Agendas are set - guest speakers with Powerpoint, sharing ideas on how to do this and that (and Tony D there to censor any layering discussions (NOTE: Moving layering seminar off-site and have a bouncer at the door )... Where was I? oh yes - and all of the attendees brought their laptops, stayed in their hotel rooms, and worked Farm 11 Raul released that same day.

bad things happen when I start thinking...

[Tony D]

Originally Posted by krypto

That got me to thinking - what if there was a FarmTown convention? Agendas are set - guest speakers with Powerpoint, sharing ideas on how to do this and that (and Tony D there to censor any laying discussions (NOTE: Moving layering seminar off-site and have a bouncer at the door )... Where was I? oh yes - and all of the attendees brought their laptops, stayed in their hotel rooms, and worked Farm 11 Raul released that same day.

bad things happen when I start thinking...

I would prefer to be the M.C. thankyouverymuch

[JAS0643]

Originally Posted by Deborah1979

OK, I have an idea....let's play a game, and list the ONE (and only one per person) item that was added to the game that didn't cost ONE COIN or ONE FC!! Sometimes, now I just take these things for granted, but I appreciate them. Some examples might be the belts/bonuses (which I hate, but collect any , the little yellow hand that lets you move items around on your farm, the bar now showing which of your neighbors are actually on-line, and on and on.

I'll go first (since I started this) Remember, only one per person!!

I really like the little yellow hand that lets me move things on my farm!

NEXT????



(oh, and StoneFace, you can keep adding jokes in between the posts, please!!!)

The thing I like the most is turning the bulldozer into a one click sell tool. Now when you click on something that is less x amount (can't remember the amount) you can choose to delete all items without having to confirm it. When you delete the item the mayor "auctions" off the item and gives you some coins. The coins you get from the mayor's "auction" is the same every time and the same amount you would get if you sold the item. For that reason the bulldozers are now what I like to call one click sell tools which are great when deleting thousands of flowers or trees. I put over 5,000 flowers on my farm one time and sold all of them taking 3 clicks for each flower so I really love being able to sell the flowers in one click now.

[jcassemjr]

I spent hours yesterday rearranging the trees, hours today rearranging flowers. If we don't get the update tonight, I don't know what else to do. I have >5K of every crop, facilities stocked to 100%.

I really need the update!

[Lynjoe]

I really like seeing which farms are fertilized at a glance. That's a real plus!!!